A Letter To My Constant #2

I guess I shouldn’t use the term “constant” anymore since right now that’s not the case. I guess that’s my fault for pushing you away by being awful all the time. I’m sorry. I don’t understand why I’m so mean to you. I don’t know if it’s me trying to push you away because I’m scared of falling or if it’s me trying to push you away because I want you to live your own life.

We’ve been going through this for years now and I honestly don’t know if it’s worth all the trouble. I know you’re trying to get rid of the habits that I find annoying but I still can’t find it in me to accept them. It’s either that or maybe I’m just trying to look for reasons to be mad.

I don’t know what to do. I want to keep you in my life but maybe you’re doing the right thing by staying away from me, by living your life the way you want to. If that’s what will make you happy then I guess I just have to live with that. It’s the least I could do after everything I’ve put you through. You deserve to be happy.

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