I’m not sure if I’m allowed to go into detail as to what’s been happening but I’ll try my best to explain how I feel without revealing too much. We’re going through some major changes and I feel like I have more on my plate now as compared to how things were before these changes. We’re getting our own projects now and we’re expected to lead and delegate tasks (if necessary). What we earn from these projects will be the basis of what we’ll get at the end of the month. No project = no salary.
I guess the fact that things are not set or that there’s a possibility that things can change on a monthly basis scares me. There’s nothing constant about it and I’m the type of person that wants to be assured that at the end of the month, after putting in work, I’m going home with something that matches the amount of work I’ve put in.
We’re also going to have to go through a lot of adult things. And despite being twenty-three I feel like I’m the least adult person on the planet. The thought of going to the BIR to fix papers or fixing my own taxes freaks me out. I guess I’m just afraid of making mistakes and basically of not knowing what to do. Well, the process was explained to us but I’m still not sure if my brain was able to process everything.
This is a major step out of my comfort zone and it’s driving me crazy. I guess maybe God decided to push me instead of allowing me to take things one step at a time. I hope this turns me into someone who’s more independent cause if this doesn’t help then I don’t know what will.