You have all these people in your life but it feels like none of them know who you really are. It feels as if no one will ever understand you or what you’re going through. How can they when you can’t even explain to yourself why you feel the way you do?
You are alone in a sea of people and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can try to convince yourself that you fit in somewhere, that you belong, but it’s possible that you’ll never find your place in this world. No matter how hard you tell yourself to try, to fight, that feeling of being left out won’t go away.
You know in your heart that you won’t ever take your own life but it’s always a thought that pops up and it will never be something that isn’t scary. You just want someone to care. You just want to feel something other than this. Whatever this is. But you know doing that won’t change anything but, based on other shows you’ve seen about it, it might make things harder for the people you’ll leave behind and you don’t want that. You don’t want to be even more of a burden than you already are.
So how do you get out of this state? How do you feel as if you are actually a part of something? How?